Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

Sometimes my Leo self gets all narcissistic.

I think that the FBI, ATF, NSA, ADHD, FPPOA.. ( Or what ever acronyms they make up…) are watchin’ me and my little blog..

Now, in reality , I am sure they have bigger fish to fry, but it is a Libertarian’s Dream to be the next target, right?

Ok.. maybe not..

But I figured out that I could be sexy, awesome and in the memories of the people FOR EV ER if I get a gig drillin’ with the big guys!

However, I am a Leo and I WILL not allow myself to be the same ol’ black powder and fertilizer set up pasty..

No hardware store shrapnel in my set up! NO! I will tell THEM what I think is my best bet for infamy.

And, I figure they are gonna go after the preppers anyway.. soooo… I wanna be the first Refrigerator Biscuit Bomber!!!!!

Yep, you read it right.. ( don;t look at me like that… I shall explain..)

I figure I am not really savy enough to go get black powder and hook up a cell phone timer.. so I am gonna go with what I know..

I got my target all set… Those that hate GMO’s. I mean, what is more anti patriotic than not eating your cloned port and fish DNA filled tomatoes…

So, I am gonna get one of those annoying green ass shopping bags everybody buys for a buck and fill it with 10 tubes of 10 count pillsbury refrigerator biscuits! Imagine all that potassium sorbate and modified wheat starch flying intot he faces of innocent people just trying to live life..yea, they will not die right away… but just think.. in 20 or 30 years they will get cancer and I have achieved greatness! ( ominous echo here)…

But, I will not be harmed in the making of this tragedy! Why? The “timer” : Mentos and Coca Cola!!!!!! There I may get some instant casualties.. I mean have YOU seen what Coke does to the lining of a stomach?? ( ewwwww)..

Then, when the FBI tells me, I will set the bomb and run and run.. until they call and tell me to meet them at the local U with tubes of biscuity badness and we can have a shoot out…And there will be pictures of me.. all over the internet.. bloody and dead.. dough in hand..

I WILL BE FAMOUS!

I know, I know.. But you think THIS is stupid as it gets???…

Try researching all the other times the FBI set out Agent Provocateurs and Sting Ops.

Try finding REAL evidence against Tam and Dhkor Tasrnaeva.

Try figuring out why it is ok to impose martial law over ONE BOY!

Try figuring out how Tam was arrested naked and walking and ended up dead and so bloodied you could not recognize him.

Just sayin…

Namaste’

The Savage

 

Advertisements

FOOOD!!! I love Food. I am fat. Why? Cause I love food.

Ok, I am not “fat”, but I am no PX hard body candidate, cuz; I love food.

I love to cook, but I have the kid at home, 6 that call and want shit, ( grown ups? I ain’t got no stinkin’ grown up kids…) and the cats and the dogs and the ferrets and the snake and the prepping and the blog and the business.. and ( tap tap tap ) who I am forgetting? OHHHH! Yep, the spouse!

So, I developed a scheme and I am loving it! It is called Freezer to Crock pot. Alot of online Divas and Devos are doin’ stuff like this, I know.. BUT I am removing the canned soups and the MSG’s ( the Hunny cannot have them), and working to create a fast meal for 4 in a gallon bag that I can just pop in the Crock Pot, throw on low and go about the day.

I thought for a few Fridays I would share them. My biggest need in vegetarian ones and shellfish ones. No a lot of those out there that I like or see as simple enough.

So, The first goals were to realize what can’t be done in the Pot for any meal and how to schedule a day to do it. I am not really a “sit for 10 hours on a Sunday and bust out 100 gallon baggies of meals” type of Savage. I shop about one a week for goods besides the prepper stuff and I try to have my canned and dehydes be my bulk cooking times.

I realized that I use a lot of stuff already basically in the house and that I do use what I buy. I also did not try anything I knew was too “different” in this house. I got some semi picky eaters and if they gotta eat stuff they hate to survive, I will be diggin’ graves..Narrow ones, cuz they starved to death.

I started with “rue blocks”. We have a gravy issue here. We worship gravy and it’s consort, bacon in this house. Gravy does not make itself very well in the ol’ CP. So I made a mess of rue, (equal butter and flour) and then froze it in blocks in the ice tray. I can throw the frypan on the stove at the end of the Crock Pot cooking and make gravy with the broths in there in a bout 10 minutes. Or I can add arrowroot to the CP and get a sauce. But to cook the sauces all day breaks them down.

I then took all the faves I could modify in the cookbook and checked out a couple crock pot cook books from the library and started copying like a cat!!  Then I realized that I can put most together after I get home from the store in about 30 minutes, ( I have the stuff to make about 6 to 10 after a trip) and then throw them in the freezer for the night I list them on the menu or for a day I know will be hectic.

I have about 31 recipes to try and share and I think I will share a couple at a time every Friday after the foodie blog! If you try one and improve it, let me know… I am always in need of improvement! ( hmmm, new page at the top for recipes… why, yes, Savage, get right on that…)

Namaste’

The Savage